Beyond Words
by MockingbirdSoul
Summary: What could ever make forever worth living for? Orihime x Ulquiorra oneshot. [NOTE: Under Revision]


Beyond Words

The Hollow and the Halcyon special

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 **A/N: Wow, long time no see. So, I can explai-**

 **Responsibilities: FACE US OR PERISH!**

 **Me: Gah! *runs***

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach the manga or the anime**

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 **Beyond Words**

 _Darkness permeated through an ashen lattice of clouds in the night. A false moon glared at her from behind the bars of a skylight window. It's pale light poured forth from the canopy of the room, flooding the empty cesspool around her. The sharp crescent curve mirrored the very last one she had seen in the human world._

 _The resemblance was cruel._

 _In her solitude, she spent an indefinite amount of time gazing at it through the window. The fleeting comfort found in its familiarity was dispelled long after she realized a dismal truth._

 _The fluorescent glow it emanated was lifeless, deceitful. There was no true life that roamed these vast plains of white sand. Her captors had made that fact abundantly clear. Any essence of the life she had taken for granted was nonexistent here. The shortest slivers of time seemed to stretch into eternity without any change to usher a new moment to the next. E_ _verything in this world was enslaved to constancy so long as it persisted. For eternity._

 _The concept had always frightened her._

 _Her incessant thoughts led to a maddening anxiety that always drew her to the moon. Like her, it was locked in a somber imprisonment, bound to the skies in its haunting permanence. The longer she stared at it, though, the more dread she felt. She feared that for as long as she remained in this Hollow World, she would lose all semblance of humanity and become a true prisoner._

 _Not a single tear sprang to her eyes, because deep down, she knew that this was the choice she had made all on her own. For the sake of her loved ones, she chose this doom. It was too late to regret anything now._ _Yet she couldn't help but feel fear. Fear that she, too, would become a part of this cycle of stagnation._

 _Was her fixation on the moon the beginning of her end? The longer she held it's steady gaze, the more she likened it to a dead eye in the night, watching her, holding her captive, casting shadows all around her._

 _A dead eye that, like her, was a prisoner to the emptiness of oblivion._

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

Another nightmare spurned by memories from little over a year ago. Each time, she woke up alone, shivering and alone, her cheeks chilled and wetted by the tears that never appeared in her dreams.

This time, the loneliness that she had become acquainted with was replaced by unexpected solace. Her eyes fluttered open slowly, still heavily weighted under the spell of sleep. As she peered through her lashes, Orihime identified the darkened interior of a car she was familiar with. Likewise, she immediately recognized the soothing surge of a powerful rieatsu, and the strong shoulder she was leaning on.

Ulquiorra?

At the sound of her voice, slurred and sleepy, she felt the slightest shift of his body against hers. Orihime lifted her head, reluctant to separate herself from him, but anxious to see him and clarify that this wasn't another dream.

You should have slept longer.

The sound of his calm voice was a quiet reassurance in the dark, however chiding he may have sounded. Despite her shaken inner state, seeing the nearby gas station lights illuminate his stoic features pulled her lips into a soft smile.

It's fine, she replied, darting her eyes to the empty front seats.

Are Nel and Halibel driving us home? She asked.

Neliel insisted on being the one to drive us home, he answered.

She hummed quietly in understanding. Nel had ceaselessly gushed over spending a well-earned, rare day off with a shopping spree. Free from her usual school work on the weekend, Orihime happily agreed to a day out with Nel and Halibel, her two hollow neighbors that she was tentatively beginning to feel were like older sisters to her.

I see, she eventually said, placing her hand on the hard curve of his bicep. You must be pretty tired.

Not particularly. Nel has a tendency to worry over trivial matters.

Though he had been elected as the designated driver for the girls' day out, she could see how sweet Nel would want her brother to relax. It was his day off, too. It was rare that they ever had days to relax from their strenuous schedules.

She probably feels guilty for having you drive, and carry all of our bags, she offered gently.

I see no reason for her to feel any guilt. It was my decision to accompany the three of you for today, he replied, indifferent to the matter.

I know, she said, smiling lightly. I'm really happy you decided to come along with us.

 _I'm happy you were with me all day._

The words were silent, only meant for her heart to hear, yet she was sure he somehow sensed them in the air around them. Ulquiorra remained silent for some time, taking the time to brush a stray lock of ebony away from his emerald eyes. After a moment's contemplation, those deep-set eyes met hers as he asked the question,

Is that what a boyfriend does?

It always struck her as odd to hear such a thing from him. Even stranger were the circumstances that called for their unofficial relationship to surface from the bedrock of their most ineffable feelings for each other. To think something as simple as a school rumor would force them to acknowledge the mutual connection they felt. Deepening their relationship nurtured a growing curiosity in the both of them. It surprised her that he was as vocal as he was with all those questions.

The first time he brought it up was after their first supposed 'date' (courtesy of Neliel, again). After recovering from her embarrassed stupor, she mumbled some inarticulate response that ended with her sheepish smile and his silent acquiescence. It was a moment between them that she would always cherish, but it still made her blush.

She realized that he was still awaiting an answer from her.

Umm...I think so. I've never had a boyfriend before. I-I mean until now, so...it's not something I'm familiar with. Why do you ask?

Silence shrouded him again as his eyes fell in another bout of deep deliberation. Orihime took the moment to admire how much more expressive his eyes had become during his time in the human world. Flecks of emerald glinted in the moonlight, far too mesmerizing to be good for her. They bewitched her so profoundly that she failed to notice how his finger grazed the curve of her cheek, making contact with the the residual tear she hadn't even been aware of.

How do I respond to this?

Another question that rendered her silent.

Oh, was all she replied with, averting her gaze, and retrieving her hand from his arm.

It's nothing important, she tried to assure him.

His hand didn't abandon it's place on her cheek, but his careful, gliding movements from along her jaw to the tip of her chin lured her full attention to him. Orihime waited with bated breath as his eyes bore into hers, searching and ultimately affirming that she was wasn't being truthful.

He closed his eyes briefly before withdrawing from her.

You know best, he said quietly.

She was sure that if he were any other man, he would have pried an explanation from her, demanding her for her emotions under the guise of wanting to console her. But he wasn't any other man, nor the man he used to be. After all his hardships and personal turmoil with insecurity, he knew that she held her right to guard her feelings.

Still, it felt unfair to hide things from him. Relationships were about trust weren't they?

What I mean is, she began haplessly, but trailed off in her feeble attempt at opening up.

Was it a nightmare?

She looked up to meet his gaze, startled but by no means unwelcome to how close he was to her. Close enough to kiss. She couldn't quite think straight, and found herself nodding slowly. He tended to have that affect on her: numbing her fears until she felt safe to share with him anything and everything.

And she did. All the while, he patiently listened, not making a single interruption or remark. Just listening and absorbing.

Not once had she looked up at him for the entire time. He didn't say anything. Did he feel guilty? She couldn't help but dread that she somehow hurt him. Suddenly, she felt ashamed for not telling anyone sooner. Especially him. But she was afraid of this. This terrible silence that would follow afterwards once she did reveal the truth.

You've been dreaming about those days then? He asked.

Orihime nodded again, feeling remorse spread over her chest.

They've been bothering me for a while now, she admitted.

Again, he fell silent, reflecting, calculating what exactly to say in the given situation. Something that a newfound consideration for others prompted him to do.

So have I, he admitted, gazing out the window thoughtfully.

Orihime blinked, taken aback.

Hollows can dream? She inquired, pressing the subject gingerly. He nodded, slipping his hands in his pockets.

It appears that every now and then we recall glimpses of past lives and memories. They're hazy, and never very coherent.

Oh, she replied. What do you dream of?

His eyes dared to meet hers before he responded,

You.

Oh.

It was then that she confirmed the gleam that pervaded his eyes.

Guilt.

Her chest constricted. A greater feeling of regret began to fester inside of her. She wasn't the only one with burdens. She had no idea that he was suffering from the same demons as her. And yet he figured it out so easily. How was that fair?

He didn't stir when she buried her head in his shoulder, hiding from him, but seeking his comfort nonetheless. Her fingers clung to the rough denim of his jacket.

I'm sorry, she let out in a muffled whisper.

What for?

For...for making it seem like such a big deal when you've been struggling with the same problems, she said, grasping his arm tightly. Had he not been worlds stronger than her, she was sure she would have been hurting him.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything until now. You've been worrying about me, but I didn't even notice that you were having the same problem. I'm so selfish.

He was quiet again until he motioned for her to lift her head and look at him.

You're much stronger than you choose to believe.

This time, it was her turn to be at a loss for words. So many nameless sensations responded to the glimmer in his eyes, just barely distinguishable behind the messy slips of charcoal hair that fell about his tranquil expression.

Am I?

He nodded his head, the glimmer in his eyes still present, earnest and unabashed.

Just by confiding in me, you chose to face your troubles instead of running from them. I wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't. That's what makes us different.

He closed his eyes again, searching within him for the right way to express his thoughts.

You're honest with yourself. You understand the things you feel and can share them with others. I've lied to others and to myself about such things. Before, I was so narrow-minded that anything was easy to rationalize. Nothing is as simple now.

She nodded in understanding, and held his hand soothingly.

It's hard to rationalize what we feel. It's okay to feel insecure about it. That means you're still learning how to express different feelings. In time, you'll have a better understanding of how to accept and respond to emotions and people. And I'm here to help. I promise.

He looked at her, eyes softening in response to her reassurances.

I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have you with me, he admitted.

She would have melted right there if he hadn't been holding her hand so firmly, almost devoutly. Instead, she knew her smile must have looked like he just handed the world to her.

Me either. It's okay to need others. There are people that also need you, and will always be there. Like me. I'll always be with you.

 _Always._

Somehow, the thought didn't frighten or embarrass her as it usually did. The word seemed to bless them both a kind of everlasting comfort. Orihime could see in his eyes, a renewal of light that seemed to give him the clarity he needed.

We've both changed since that time, he said. But I believe you're the strong one now.

Orihime couldn't fathom how he could ever consider _her_ strong. The way he and his comrades were beginning to embrace a new way of life so different from all that he ever knew before was something that awed her. From the very moment that their fates intertwined, she held a deep-rooted fear that he would never change his ways. His endeavors to break away from his dark past resonated with a strength that she admired in all of her loved ones.

If she slowed the pace of time to take in every waking moment of the present, she felt the surrealism of it all. He was here with her. They were together. In spite of everything, all trials and tribulations aside, they managed to stay by each other. She could admit to fears, troubles, insecurities and whatever else, and he would be there regardless.

She considered it as she thanked him and told him that in spite of everything, she still thought he was strong. And a good boyfriend. He didn't bother to add on to that. He didn't need to. The gentle grip of his hand in hers was enough to know that he was content with this closure.

Sorry if I'm a troublesome girlfriend. I'm new to this, she laughed sheepishly.

She felt his fingers against her chin, drawing her attention up to him again.

You and me both, he returned softly.

Inevitably, a smile found its way to her lips. Even if he couldn't return the gesture, when they kissed, she knew he felt the same way. The sweet gesture was full of reassurances that he didn't need to say for her to understand. So wonderfully incomprehensible.

If she had all of time to figure it out, with him at her side, then maybe forever would be worth it.

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 **A/N: Happy (late) Valentines Day!**

 **Half a year later, and I'm still hopelessly in love with these two. Hopefully my writing isn't rusty. Consider this a teaser (and apology) for future H &H chapters. **

**Please review, I've missed you all! Thanks for reading!**


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